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13: Dating and Mating in VS .NET
13: Dating and Mating
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Men aren t very good at reading the signals properly: Men tend to misinterpret friendly behaviour for sexual interest because men have 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women Availability counts more than beauty: Men pursue a woman who may not be the most sexually attractive as long as she gives off availability signals A beautiful woman with all the right physical attributes is left on the shelf if she doesn t appear to be interested In a contest between looks and signals, signals win hands down
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Going courting: The five stages
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When you see someone you want to get to know better, the first order of business is to get that person s attention You go through a predictable pattern to the courtship sequence when you see someone you think is cute, hunky, or simply appealing: 1 Eye contact The woman looks across a crowded room She spots a man she finds attractive She waits for him to notice her She focuses her eyes on his for three five seconds and then looks away He watches to see what she does next She looks at him again, and at least one more time When a man sees a woman who catches his eye he glances at her body first After he makes eye contact with her he slightly narrows his eyes and holds the gaze somewhat longer than he normally would, indicating his interest 2 Smile The woman flashes a fleeting smile or two This is a hint of a smile with a promise of things to come rather than a toothy grin It s important that the man responds to this signal or else the woman will think that he s not interested and will move her sights A man establishes eye contact with a woman and lifts his chin slightly as he smiles, inviting her to engage with him 3 Preen The muscles of both men and women become slightly tensed Her posture straightens, accentuating her physical attributes If seated, she crosses her legs to show them off If she s standing she shifts her hips and tilts her head to expose her neck She plays with her hair, runs her tongue over her lips, and adjusts her clothes and jewellery A man may straighten his stance, pull in his stomach, push out his chest, adjust his clothes, and touch his hair Both point their bodies towards one another
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Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context
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The allure of being sexually appealing
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Research consistently shows that men are attracted to healthy looking women who demonstrate sexual availability Both men and women want someone with an athletic body Men see this as a sign of good health and an ability to provide him with progeny Women see this as a sign of power, signalling the ability to provide for her Men are drawn to women with child-like faces, including doe eyes, petite noses, bee-stung lips, and full cheeks These facial characteristics elicit fatherly, protective emotions in most men Women prefer men with mature faces that show they have the ability to protect and defend Strong jaws, large brows, and a prominent nose appeal to women The good news for women is that although good looks may initially give a woman a slight edge over her competitors, women don t have to be natural beauties to attract a man Primarily, they need to display the signals of possible availability Although it may take surgery to create a tilted nose or a rose bud mouth, and you can t always count on the results being what you hoped for, all a woman has to do to signal her availability is find out and practise the signals Granted, some women may be disturbed, if not appalled, to know that modern men are initially more attracted to a woman based on her looks and her sensuality than on her ability to discuss world affairs, balance a cheque book, play the piano, or stuff a turkey But modern research concurs with what painters, poets, and writers have been telling us for thousands of years a woman s ability to sexually satisfy a man appeals more to him than any family trust fund or intellectual capabilities she may posses
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4 Talk The man walks over to the woman, making it look as though he s the initiator, and gives her a few chat-up lines Having given him permission to approach by the signals she s sent through her body language, a woman then waits for the man to begin the conversation Actually initiating a conversation can be a minefield Here are a couple of tips to help you navigate it safely: If you misread the signal and sense that the approach is going to land you where you d rather not be, pretend that you just want to ask the other person about unrelated subjects You may sound a bit of an idiot but at least you aren t given a brusque brush off in response to a clumsy pass If after a few minutes of speaking with a woman she yawns, frowns, or sneers you can count on the fact that she s not interested If she crosses her arms, puts her hands in her pockets, and avoids your gaze, you may as well walk away
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