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Giving the cold shoulder in .NET framework
Giving the cold shoulder
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The origins of the expression cold shoulder are disputed Some people believe it originates from when welcome visitors to one s home were fed a hot meal, but if they were unwelcome visitors they were lucky to be given a cold shoulder of mutton In Sir Walter Scott s St Ronan s Well, 1824, the writer remarks: I must tip him the cauld shouther [cold shoulder], or he will be pestering me eternally
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12: Territorial Rights and Regulations
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When your personal space is unavoidably infiltrated, such as in a crowded bus, and touching can t be escaped, only shoulders and upper arms should make contact If the contact is any more intimate, people make an effort to move apart, in spite of the crowded conditions
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Maintaining your personal space
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When strangers crowd in, you have to adjust your concept of how much space you need to conserve around you Country people may initially feel quite uncomfortable in a large city Where they re used to living in open spaces, they now find themselves confined within buildings Crowded conditions take over where once there was distance They may feel more constrained Their gestures become fewer, smaller, and tighter as they adjust to their reduced space The next time you go to the doctor or hairdressers, observe where people sit Normally you find a row of chairs for waiting clients The first client usually sits at one end of the row The next person to enter sits halfway down Both are at a comfortable distance from one another neither too close to cause discomfort nor too far away to appear standoffish The next person sits at the other end, and the fourth person sits between the middle and end position, and so on until eventually someone is forced to sit next to another person When people queue in Britain they envelop themselves in an invisible space bubble People have their own bubble and on a good day they respect one another s space Interestingly, crowded conditions, such as those found on the rush hour bus, tube, or train, lead people to ignore one another According to psychologist Robert Sommer, in crowded conditions people imagine that someone invading their personal space is inanimate Therefore, no need exists to relay any social signals Individuals stand or sit still when they re ignoring their surroundings The larger the crowd, the less the individual body movement People s faces take on a blank and expressionless look indicating that communication is not being sought They avoid eye contact by staring at the ceiling or the floor
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Seating positions should never happen by chance When planning a dinner party or a special event, the hosts spend a great deal of energy deciding
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Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context
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where their guests should sit The position in which you re placed reflects your status, and impacts upon people s perception of you Where other people place themselves in relation to you, signals their attitude toward you, their view of themselves in relation to you, and the level of cooperation you can expect from them Because rectangular tables enable people to have their own edges, equal space, and clear eye contact, everyone at the table can take a stance on a particular subject, although those at the shorter sides (the head) of the table are in a dominant position Square tables are ideal for short, direct conversations Round tables give everyone seated an equal amount of power and prominence Before you seat yourself, or direct people where you want them to sit, think about the outcome you want to have as a result of the people interacting
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Speaking in a relaxed setting
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Sitting with the corner of a rectangular table between you and another person encourages relaxed, friendly conversation (see Figure 12-1) You can clearly see one another and open room exists for gesturing The corner of the desk serves as a subtle barrier in case it s needed This position also denotes an even division of space with both people on an equal footing
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