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The wet fish in VS .NET
The wet fish
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If you ve ever been presented with a totally limp hand to shake you know how unconnected it feels when your hands meet People who refuse to commit to a handshake tend to be self-important and aloof Granted, surgeons and concert pianists need to guard their fingers and are known for their soft handshakes And people who have to do a lot of shaking also offer a relaxed hand in order to protect their fingers Some people offer the uncommitted handshake for other reasons Some women think that it s appealing to present themselves as submissive to both men and women Very strong people sometimes offer a soft handshake as a way of highlighting their physical power If a person s lacking in confidence she also holds back from making a connection Bonnie comes from Dallas, Texas, and works for a large investment firm in London Her working environment is predominantly male Although she s highly accomplished, her boss and peers perceive her as being quite submissive One of the reasons for this is because of the way she shakes hands Regardless of the million pound deals she regularly lands, she still highlights her femininity by offering a soft handshake, as she was taught to do growing up in the southern USA Although in a social context this approach may appeal to men, in the business environment her male colleagues regularly joke about the Southern Belle and her wily ways
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The power shake
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At times you may want to show that you have the upper hand, meaning that you re strong and in control You can do this by making sure that your hand faces down in the handshake Although your palm doesn t have to be completely turned over so that it faces directly downward, the slight turning shows that you re in charge
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9: It's in the Palm of Your Hand
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Even if you unconsciously place your hand in the top position you have the automatic advantage This is because the hand down position is associated with dominance and control whereas the upward facing palm conveys compliance and passivity Even if you and the receiver are unaware of your hand positions, you feel more dominant and the other person feels more submissive
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The double-hander is a favourite in the corporate and political arena Through this particular handshake, the initiator aims to portray sincerity, honesty, and a deep feeling for the receiver By using it you increase the amount of physical contact and by restricting the receiver s right hand you gain control of the interaction Because the double-hander is like a mini hug choose your receiver carefully Ideally, this handshake should only be used where a personal relationship already exists If someone thrusts her hand towards you, palm facing downwards, and grabs your hand in hers putting you in a submissive position with little chance of balancing the equation, what do you do Allow the power player to take your hand with your palm facing upwards Then, before she knows what you re up to, put your left hand on top of her right to create a double-hander From this position you re able to straighten the handshake and gain control subtly and effectively When you use the two-handed handshake, the left hand conveys two points worth noting Firstly, it reveals the intensity of feeling you re demonstrating towards the receiver The higher up the arm your left hand goes, as shown in Figure 9-12, the deeper the level of intimacy you want to show This is a complex movement in that the gesture shows both the degree of connection you have with the receiver as well as the amount of control you re exerting The second point is that your left hand invades the receiver s personal space Unless the receiver has positive feelings for you this gesture can lead to feelings of suspicion and mistrust If in doubt, don t use it; especially on your boss
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