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Crossed arms and thumbs up in Visual Studio .NET
Crossed arms and thumbs up
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A typical pose that superior type, up-and-coming young men adopt when engaging with their manager in the work environment is to stand with their arms crossed over their chests with their thumbs pointing upwards (see Figure 8-1) This position demonstrates both apprehension and confidence Their uneasiness is conveyed through the crossed arms while the thumbs up position shows self-confidence and a sense of coolness and control When you first meet a group of people, you can demonstrate your status and superiority by not folding your arms Shake hands firmly, stand at the appropriate distance, and keep your hands by your sides or in the power position with one hand resting in the other at waist height Richard was recently promoted to partner in a prestigious city law firm Although considered to be extremely talented and an asset to the firm he also has the reputation of being somewhat brash and arrogant After shaking hands with the firm s senior partner at a social event for the newly promoted lawyers, Richard folded his arms with both thumbs pointing upward and engaged his boss in conversation As he spoke he used his thumbs to gesture This pose showed that while he was seemingly full of self-confidence he also felt the need for some protection Because of the structure of women s upper torsos they cross their arms lower on the body than men do Girls entering puberty tend to adopt this protective position more frequently than more mature females
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8: Arming Yourself
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Figure 8-1: Crossed arms with thumbs up is typical of young, highflying males
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Touching yourself: Hugs, strokes, and more
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The way you touch yourself gives observers clues as to how you re feeling Most self-touching movements provide comfort and are the unconscious, mimed gestures of another person s touch, as if you ve divided yourself into two people: The one who is providing the comfort, and the receiver of the touch Some of the more common include the following: Hugging or stroking yourself: When you were a child feeling distressed or upset, your parents, or whoever was looking after you, would hold you in their arms to comfort you Now that you re an adult, when you feel self-conscious and insecure, and no one s there to reassure you, or it would be inappropriate to seek solace from another person, you hug or stroke yourself to provide your own comfort and reassurance The most common self-touching actions are rubbing your neck, stroking your arms, or fondling your face Half-hugs: Because, when you cross both arms across your body, you show that you re feeling afraid or defensive, you may adopt the half-hug position instead In this position, one arm crosses your body and holds or touches the other arm, creating a partial barrier Women typically use this gesture more than men
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Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots
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The fig leaf: Men hold hands with themselves in a barrier position to make themselves feel secure Covering their crown jewels they subconsciously protect themselves from a potential full frontal attack (see Figure 8-2) Look at the line-up of soccer players during a penalty kick and see where they place their hands and arms The next time you see someone who s feeling lonely, dejected, or in any way vulnerable, notice how he positions his hands You see that he holds his hands in the fig-leaf position in an attempt to create feelings of comfort and reassurance
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Figure 8-2: The fig leaf position makes a person feel more secure
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Placing objects in front of yourself
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By placing a coffee cup, a clipboard, or any other object between yourself and another person, you are setting up a protective barrier These barriers are a subconscious effort to conceal any nervousness or insecurity you may be experiencing, whether you re aware of the feeling or not During a role play with a client in which she had to enter her boss s office, sit across the table from him, and make a recommendation that she knew he wouldn t like, Lynne clutched a pad of paper in front of her, clasping it tightly to her chest Although she said that she had to carry the pad for taking
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