Figure 7-5: Forward facing palms serve to push the problem away in VS .NET

Making QR-Code in VS .NET Figure 7-5: Forward facing palms serve to push the problem away

Rory is a secondary school chemistry teacher Inevitably, at the end of lessons a mess of test tubes, beakers, and other related items wait to be cleaned and put away in their proper place When he asks his students who s responsible for the mess, without fail they raise their shoulders, palms, and eyebrows as they turn away from Rory, signalling their denial of any responsibility If you want to indicate that you want to remain neutral and uninvolved, raise your hand to shoulder height with your palm facing outwards and slightly shrug both shoulders

Because the elements in the shrug hunched shoulders, open palms, raised eye brows, and so on are all submissive, the shrug is the perfect gesture to use when offering an apology A man of few words and the grand gesture, John had been in a foul temper for most of the day Although Louise is usually quite patient and accepts her husband s moodiness, by late afternoon she was so frustrated that she burst into tears Realising that he d been out-of-sorts and treating Louise unfairly, John left the house, returning shortly with a large bouquet of tulips, Louise s favourite flowers Offering them to her, he apologised without ever saying the words, I m sorry The lift of his shoulders, his raised eyebrows, his slightly turned down mouth, and his dropped head as he presented the flowers to Louise conveyed his apology Although this exercise doesn t convey emotion, mood, or attitude the shrugging gesture may bring you some relief when you re feeling tense or tired Raise your shoulders up towards your ears and tighten them as much as you can Hold that position for three five seconds, and then release Roll your shoulders in circles both backwards and forwards to complete the tension release To avoid injuring yourself when doing this exercise, be careful not to overdo the tightening

8

hether you re crossing your arms as a protective shield or opening them as a sign of welcome, the way you position your arms tells an astute observer how you re feeling Certain postures elicit certain moods Crossed arms hold your feelings in and keep other people s out They show that you ve set up roadblocks beyond which no person dares travel Stay with this position for too long and you find yourself feeling shut off and negative Unless, of course, you re cold, in which case holding your arms across your chest keeping the warmth in and the cold out makes perfect sense As for contact, touching can be a great tonic as long as you know who, when, where, and how Get touching right and the person you touch feels engaged and connected; get it wrong and prepare yourself for a sharp smack This chapter shows you how you can read arms signals, appear self-controlled, and increase your influence through physical contact

Any gesture that protects your body from an assault be it real or imagined is a defensive barrier Ducking your head, averting your body, even tightening your lips and narrowing your eyes, are all examples of defensive behaviours As opposed to open gestures that welcome others in, these behaviours protect you and keep others out

When you were a small child and feeling threatened and insecure, you may have hidden behind your mother s skirts or a solid piece of furniture As you reached pre-school age you may have created your own barrier by folding your arms tightly across your chest During your teen years you probably relaxed your grip and added crossed legs to the equation in order to appear more cool and less obvious The crossed-arm position is common throughout the world and communicates a defensive stance Not only does it serve as a protective guard against a possible attack, crossed arms also represent an inflexible position that tells you that this person s not budging If a woman finds a man attractive, for example, she keeps her arms in an open position, but she crosses her arms over her chest with men she finds aggressive or unappealing You may also cross your arms over your chest if you re feeling anxious, or are lacking confidence Crossing arms is a common position to adopt when you re amongst strangers and is often seen in lifts, public meetings, when waiting to board an airplane, or anywhere that you may feel insecure, apprehensive, or intimidated People who say that they cross their arms over their chests because it s comfortable are right Any gesture that matches the corresponding attitude feels comfortable So, if someone feels negative, self-protective, or in any way uneasy, even if he s not consciously aware of these feelings, it is quite common for that person to cross his arms If he feels relaxed and is enjoying himself, he adopts an opened-arm position that reflects his attitude The meaning of the message is in the receiver Studies show that people react negatively to the crossed-arm position Even if you re comfortable with your arms crossed over your chest, people observing you are going to interpret your attitude as defensive So, unless you want to show that you disagree or don t want to engage, find other positions for your arms If you adopt the crossed arm position when you re in a group of people you soon notice other members of the group adopting the same pose Although influencing people into assuming this position is easy, you may discover that it s difficult to achieve open communication when the majority of the group has adopted this stance